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cynicism is out, post ironic appreciation is in

welcome to the fucking future

(via alanerate)

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Reblog - 33,603 noteslumi7:

— This is it, Joel. It’s going to be gone soon.— I know.— What do we do?— Enjoy it.
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Painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk

(via vrtylck)

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i scare people lots because i walk very softly and they don’t hear me enter rooms so when they turn around i’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me

(via sharksanonymous)

Reblog - 74,739 notesoakhunter:

Literally the most beautiful thing ever




*dick hard but i gotta stand up*


did u kno if u flex any muscle fah 60 seconds ya meat will retreat

I went 20 years w/o knowin my dick gotta cheat code, I needa spread tha good word

(via outofthefishtank)


Why would you intentionally eat olives like what in the fuck? are you okay? is someone forcing you to do this? You need me to call the police let me know so we can help you

(Source: blastortoise-chan, via ugly)

Reblog - 4,844 notesnevver:

Fortune cookie
Bloody Stabbing Knife